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When Your Team Starts Working Around an Abrasive Employee, Pay Attention
“I wouldn’t go in there right now.” “Why?” “He’s in one of those moods.” “Got it. I’ll come back later.” It may sound like an ordinary exchange between coworkers. But as a leader, it’s worth paying attention to what it tells you. Your employees have learned to work around someone’s behavior. They know when it’s…
High Performance Doesn’t Excuse Harmful Behavior: How Leaders Can Address Abrasive Employees
“They’re one of our best performers.” I’ve heard versions of this statement many times from leaders struggling with an abrasive employee. The person gets results. They have expertise the organization depends on. Clients value them. They generate revenue. And yet, coworkers often dread interacting with them. Their words are often condescending. Their feedback belittling and…
The Hidden Skill That Transforms Problem-Solving: Curiosity
When faced with a problem or personnel issue, leaders have two options: Option 1: Resolve it and figure out why it’s happening in the first place. Option 2: Ignore it, hoping it will go away on its own. Most leaders choose Option 2. In the moment, it seems easier. You don’t have to have the…
The Leadership Behaviors That Make Your Team Feel Safe Enough to Tell You the Truth
Your team just left the leadership meeting, and you asked if anyone had concerns about the new strategy. Silence. You asked if anyone saw potential problems with the timeline. More silence. You said, “I really want your honest feedback.” Still nothing. Later that afternoon, you overhear two team members in the hallway discussing exactly the…
The Cost of Staying Silent: What Happens When Abrasive Behavior Goes Unchecked
There’s a moment most leaders know well. You’ve just heard again… that a high-performing employee crossed a line. Maybe they humiliated someone in a meeting. Maybe they snapped at a colleague in front of the team. Maybe the complaints landing on your desk have quietly multiplied over the past several months. And you’ve done what…
The 5 Key Questions To Break Through What Keeps You From Addressing Abrasive Behavior
You know you need to talk to Claudie. You’ve known for months, maybe longer. Another employee came to your office yesterday—the third one this quarter—with the same story. Claudia yelled at them when they asked a simple question, spoke down to them like they were incompetent, and made them feel two inches tall in front…
The Hidden Cost of Waiting “Just One More Quarter” to Address Your Highly Abrasive Leader
The email comes in at 4:47 PM on a Friday. Another resignation, your third this quarter from the same team, and another talented employee who’s “pursuing other opportunities.” You know exactly why they’re leaving. Everyone knows. It’s the same reason as the last two. But in Monday’s leadership meeting, you’ll all nod sympathetically and talk…
What Your Hot-Headed Leader Wants You to Understand (But Won’t Tell You)
You’ve tried everything. The “let’s talk about your communication style” conversation. The feedback about “managing emotions in the workplace.” The HR mediation. The leadership coaching. But your high-performing, hot-headed leader keeps exploding. The damage spreads, and good employees start looking for the exits. You’re left wondering: Is this person even capable of change? Let me…
Why Interpersonal Success Requires Practice, Not Perfection
What most leaders get wrong about interpersonal skill, is that they think it’s something you either have or you don’t. You’re either “a people person” or you’re not. You’re either good at difficult conversations or you avoid them. You’re either naturally empathetic or you’re more task-focused. Interpersonal success isn’t a personality trait, it’s a practice.…
Why “You Hurt My Feelings” Doesn’t Work at Work (And What Your Family Taught You About Conflict)
It’s happened again. An abrasive leader has exploded at one of your team members and now the team member is embarrassed, disengaged, and afraid to contribute when the leader is around. You know you need to address it, but when you imagine the conversation, you hear yourself saying things like… “You hurt the team’s feelings…