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The 5 Key Questions To Break Through What Keeps You From Addressing Abrasive Behavior
You know you need to talk to Claudie. You’ve known for months, maybe longer. Another employee came to your office yesterday—the third one this quarter—with the same story. Claudia yelled at them when they asked a simple question, spoke down to them like they were incompetent, and made them feel two inches tall in front…
The Hidden Cost of Waiting “Just One More Quarter” to Address Your Abrasive Leader
The email comes in at 4:47 PM on a Friday. Another resignation, your third this quarter from the same team, and another talented employee who’s “pursuing other opportunities.” You know exactly why they’re leaving. Everyone knows. It’s the same reason as the last two. But in Monday’s leadership meeting, you’ll all nod sympathetically and talk…
Why Interpersonal Success Requires Practice, Not Perfection
What most leaders get wrong about interpersonal skill, is that they think it’s something you either have or you don’t. You’re either “a people person” or you’re not. You’re either good at difficult conversations or you avoid them. You’re either naturally empathetic or you’re more task-focused. Interpersonal success isn’t a personality trait, it’s a practice.…
The Split-Second Realization That Changed How This Leader Handled Conflict
Your boss is ranting about missed deadlines. Your jaw clenches, your palms sweat and there’s a knot in your stomach you remember from childhood. In a flash, you’re 12 years old again, standing in your kitchen while your mom explodes over something you forgot to do. That familiar wave of panic washes over you, the…
Is Your Childhood Conflict Pattern Showing Up in Your Leadership?
You’re in a tense meeting. A project has derailed. Emotions are running high. How do you respond? Do you take control and demand compliance?Avoid the conversation altogether?Smooth things over with excessive reassurance?Crack a joke to lighten the mood? What most leaders don’t realize is, the way you handle conflict today was likely learned by age…
The Uninvited Guests at Your Holiday Table (And How to Handle Them)
You’re sitting at the Thanksgiving table. The turkey is carved. The conversation is flowing. But there’s a heaviness in the air that no one’s naming. Your brother made that comment about your job… again. Your uncle is steering every conversation toward politics. Your mother-in-law’s passive-aggressive remarks are landing with precision. The table is supposed to…
The 3 C’s of Difficult Conversations: How to Stay Grounded When the Conversation Gets Tough
As a leader, Ben knew he needed to address Bob’s abrasive behavior. Bob had a pattern of dismissing colleagues’ ideas in meetings, sending curt emails that left people feeling belittled, and making sarcastic comments that created tension across the team. Ben found every reason to avoid the conversation. He anticipated Bob being defensive. He worried…
What an Airline Captain Taught Me About Building Team Cohesion
Our plane had just arrived late, making our departure likely to be delayed. Several passengers were going to miss their connecting flights. You could feel the tension in the air. Then something unexpected happened. The captain, a woman who clearly knew how to lead, came out to the gate, took the microphone, and calmly described…
How To Build Inner Resources, Resolve, and Resiliency Through Emotional Intelligence
What inner resources, resolve, and resiliency will help you cope with demands, distractions, and disappointments at work? During one of my workshops, I asked managers to share their experiences with the challenges they face in today’s workplace. Their answers revealed the emotional toll of unresolved organizational conflict: “We are expected to do more in less…
7 Ways to Be a Terrible Boss (And Why You Should Do the Opposite)
A fun guide to leadership fails, and how to turn them around. Ever wonder what separates great leaders from the ones employees complain about around the water cooler? Sometimes it’s easier to spot what not to do than to figure out the right approach. So let’s have some fun with it. Here’s a list of…