When Thank You Feels Awkward: 4 Strategies to Give Genuine Appreciation

If you’re finding it difficult to give genuine appreciation to your team, you’re not alone—many leaders struggle with expressing gratitude in a way that feels authentic.

Recently, a leader asked me, “Why should I praise employees for doing their job? They’re getting paid, isn’t that enough?”

It’s a common sentiment. Many leaders feel appreciation is unnecessary since employees are hired to perform.

I often hear concerns like, “Showing appreciation will encourage laziness.” But here’s the truth: recognizing specific actions doesn’t lower the bar—it reinforces the behaviors you want more of.

When people feel appreciated, they’re motivated to go above and beyond.

For some leaders, expressing appreciation feels awkward—like stepping into unfamiliar territory.

They’ve worked hard to maintain authority and high standards, so giving praise doesn’t come naturally.

But acknowledging your team’s efforts is more than just a leadership tactic; it’s a vital part of building a healthy culture.

Some leaders even fear showing appreciation will make them look “soft.”

In reality, interpersonal skills such as empathy and giving recognition doesn’t weaken your leadership—they strengthen your leadership credibility.

Leaders who give genuine appreciation for their team’s contributions build trust and loyalty.

Leaders who give genuine appreciation build trust and loyalty.

4 Strategies to Give Genuine Appreciation:

If showing appreciation feels awkward, here are four strategies to start incorporating it into your leadership:

Reframe Appreciation as Strategic: It’s about celebrating progress and reinforcing key behaviors. Recognize actions that support organizational goals, like meeting a deadline or solving a problem.

Start Small: Offer specific feedback like, “I noticed how well you handled that client issue—it helped us avoid delays.” Keeping it clear and focused helps you strengthen relationships with your team.

Link to Results: Tie appreciation to outcomes. Highlight how an employee’s effort positively impacted a project or goal. This approach helps employees see the unique contribution they make to the team and that you value their contribution.

Build the Habit: Start by recognizing one team member each week. Over time, it will feel more natural. Consider building the habit of writing one handwritten note of appreciation a week as a practice in building your interpersonal skills of showing appreciation.

The Power of Appreciation in Leadership:

The ability to give genuine appreciation, even small gestures of recognition, can lead to big changes.

Your team will feel more connected, motivated, and loyal. This simple shift, grounded in strong interpersonal skills, can transform how your team performs and how they feel about working with you.

If showing appreciation feels difficult, ask yourself—what’s holding you back from connecting with your team in this way? Reflect on one step you can take to start bridging that gap, and share your thoughts in the comments!

About the author 

Bonnie Artman Fox, MS, LMFT works with executive leaders who want to gain self-awareness about the impact of their words and actions and up-level their interpersonal skills. 

Drawing from decades as a psychiatric nurse and licensed family therapist, Bonnie brings a unique perspective to equip executive leaders with the roadmap to emotional intelligence that brings teams together. 

Bonnie’s leadership Turnaround coaching program has an 82% success rate in guiding leaders to replace abrasive behavior with tact, empathy, and consideration of others. The end result is a happy, healthy, and profitable workplace…sooner vs. later.

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