Feedback Done Right: 3 Tips to Avoid Abrasive Feedback & Create Psychological Safety
To avoid abrasive feedback while maintaining psychological safety, it’s essential to communicate in a way that fosters growth without causing discomfort or offense.
Many leaders think they can’t give constructive feedback and maintain psychological safety at the same time.
Just last week, during a leadership training, a leader asked me, “How do I give feedback without coming off as harsh or employees feeling offended?”
It’s a common question for leaders who want to help employees reach their potential without sounding abrasive.
Sometimes it feels like walking a tightrope between being clear and being too critical, risking employee offense and even quitting.
How you communicate makes all the difference between inspiring your team with psychological safety or leaving them feeling defeated.
3 Tips to Avoid Abrasive Feedback & Create Psychological Safety

1. View Feedback and Accountability as a Learning Process to Avoid Abrasive Feedback.
Psychological Safety expert Amy Edmondson says when feedback is part of a learning process on both sides, it creates greater psychological safety.
Tell your employees, “My intent is to provide feedback to help you reach your potential. I care about your success.”
Bonus Tip: Start feedback with “I” statements about specific performance issues you’ve observed. Ask questions that invite your employee’s perspective.
2. Use a Supportive Tone
How you deliver feedback matters. A supportive tone, along with careful word choices, builds trust and shows you’re there to support, not criticize.
Bonus Tip: Avoid “You” statements, like “You’re not doing your job well.” Instead, describe the impact: “When paperwork wasn’t completed on time, the project deadline was missed.”
3. Clearly Define the Problem and Next Steps
Delivering and receiving feedback can be uncomfortable, so leaders often stay vague. Clearly defining the problem and setting expectations ensures employees know what to work on.
Bonus Tip: Don’t ease your discomfort by minimizing the issue, like “I know you’ve been stressed.” While stress may be real, your employee deserves clear feedback on how their actions impact others.
Avoiding clear feedback rarely leads to improvement.
The Power of Constructive Feedback – When delivered with psychological safety, feedback improves performance and engagement. Employees who receive constructive feedback are 3.6x more likely to be engaged at work.
Are your feedback conversations leaving your team feeling empowered or defeated?
How do you avoid abrasive feedback so you can foster a positive team dynamic?
Share your thoughts below!