How Interpersonal Skills Improve Interpersonal Relationships

Recently, while camping (actually – glamping) with our grandsons, we had a moment that showed how important interpersonal skills are in building good relationships.

One of our grandsons was playing with the fire, poking it with a big stick and then swirling the stick with the burning tip in the air. Despite repeated instructions to stop due to the potential danger, he continued. 

Just as I reminded him once again, he flicked the stick, causing the coals to fly onto one of our comfy, cloth lawn chairs, setting it on fire.

Quickly grabbing a water bottle, I put out the flames. Seeing the damage to the chair, my grandson felt very bad. In that moment, I had a choice: To react out of my frustration with a lecture or turn it into a teachable moment.

This choice point moment is one all of us face – both in our personal and professional lives.

At work it’s the choice we make when…

• An employee doesn’t complete a task on time delays a project
• Reviewing monthly financial statements and there’s a deficit
• Spoken to in a condescending tone

Gratefully, at that choice point with my grandson, I took a deep breath, paused, and chose to ask questions instead of be reactive. 

My grandson was able to recognize the part he played in what happened. I recognized, I could have taken the stick away instead of continuing to remind him. We talked about listening to adults who have more experience and making smart choices, even when we don’t agree.

It turned into a valuable teaching moment. By the end of the conversation, my grandson apologized and we hugged. 

It’s funny, every day I work with leaders about how interpersonal skills improve interpersonal relationships. 

I fully recognize how managing our emotions and putting interpersonal skills into practice at those choice point moments is easier said than done. 

Please know, I don’t always get it right.

This experience reminds me how quickly our emotions can take over and damage relationships instead of strengthen them, just as quickly as fire damages objects and people.

When reflecting on the choice point moments you face every day, what interpersonal skills are you working on to improve your interpersonal relationships?

About the author 

Bonnie Artman Fox, MS, LMFT works with executive leaders who want to gain self-awareness about the impact of their words and actions and up-level their interpersonal skills. 

Drawing from decades as a psychiatric nurse and licensed family therapist, Bonnie brings a unique perspective to equip executive leaders with the roadmap to emotional intelligence that brings teams together. 

Bonnie’s leadership Turnaround coaching program has an 82% success rate in guiding leaders to replace abrasive behavior with tact, empathy, and consideration of others. The end result is a happy, healthy, and profitable workplace…sooner vs. later.