How to Remove Yourself from Workplace Drama: Breaking Free from the Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer Roles

After a recent workshop, a woman approached me with excitement and gratitude. She shared how our discussion seemed to speak directly to her experience in workplace dynamics.

The workshop, based on my book How Did My Family Get In My Office?!, delves into what Karpman described as the “Drama Triangle.” In this framework, people often fall into three interchangeable roles: the victim, the persecutor, and the rescuer.

Her realization? She had played all three roles at different times in workplace drama.

Initially, her default role was that of the rescuer with the tendency to step in to keep the peace when conflict arose.

But like many people-pleasers, her attempts to calm tensions often led to resentment. And as resentment built, it eventually spilled into anger and frustration, turning her into a persecutor or even a victim in the same dynamic she was trying to fix.

This cycle is common:

• People-pleasing rescuers aim to defuse tension but often feel overburdened and unappreciated.
• Resentment takes root, shifting them into the role of persecutor.
• Over time, the emotional toll can make them feel like the victim, trapped by the same dynamics they sought to resolve.

Breaking the Cycle

If we truly want peace—whether at home or in the workplace—we need more than people-pleasing. We need boundaries, interpersonal skills, and frameworks for handling conflict productively.

During the workshop, this participant discovered tools to stay calm and address issues directly.

She later shared that her boss noticed a positive change in her demeanor. This feedback highlighted a key insight:

Staying calm in the tension of conflict is essential for making productive decisions, moving teams forward, and maintaining focus on business goals.

It’s also a skill that makes navigating life much easier.

Why Drama Persists

The truth is, most leaders, employees, and teams lack the interpersonal skills and practice needed to manage conflict effectively. Without these skills, workplace drama thrives, and the same roles—victim, persecutor, and rescuer—keep cycling.

However, when individuals and teams learn to manage conflict, implement boundaries, and stay composed under pressure, the impact is profound.

Business outcomes improve, and relationships within teams strengthen.

Reflection

Think about your role in workplace dynamics:

• Which role do you often find yourself in—victim, persecutor, or rescuer?
• How are you practicing to stay out of these roles and foster healthier interactions?

Breaking free from the Drama Triangle isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. 

By building strong interpersonal skills and embracing tools to stay calm and focused, you lead with clarity and create a workplace where drama no longer thrives.